Went to Lowes looking at ideas of future home projects

While I'm not in a financial situation to even work on home improvement projects, I looked around Lowes at what they sell to give me ideas on future home projects.  So far, my main focus has been on a dream kitchen.  I looked at different cabinets.  I don't know what I might consider in the color & style of cabinets.  I did see some cabinets that would fit for a "Country Kitchen".  I believe the wood was cherry.  I don't remember, other than the finish was dark.  All I know is that I want something that looks like something that fits with todays' styles, but since I expect to live in a late 1800's to early 1900's house, I want something that'll keep some of the historic charm as well.  That would be a challenge.  

I already have my appliances chosen if I had my own house today.  Stainless steel finish will be what I want.  So far, the appliances will be from Whirlpool and be under the Whirlpool name.  The reason I want Whirlpool for the kitchen has to do with reliability.  While everything made today doesn't last as long as it did 20+ years ago, but Whirlpool still makes kitchen appliances that last.  The refrigerator will be a side by side with ince & water dispensers.  I want the conquest version of the Whirlpool because the ice maker is in a smaller space, & the bucket is in the door.  That way, it gives more shelf space.  Then there's the dishwaser.  While I don't like the idea that dishwasers have nearly eliminated the mechanical dial on them, & instead gone with all buttons & more circuit boards that wasn't as extensive in older models.  However, I like one feature that's exclusive to Whirlpool.  That is the silverware basket on the door.  Their Kitchenaid, Jenn-Air, & Maytag brands (yes, Whirlpool now owns Maytag) don't have that feature.  Kitchenaid has similar looks to Whirlpool, but their interior design is that from the days when the Hobart Corporation made Kitchenaid, before it was sold to Whirlpool in 1984.  Anyway, since most Whirlpool dishwashers have the silverware basket on the door, it gives a little extra room on the bottom rack for more dishes.  I'm still debating on whether to go with the traditional range, or what I really want, are double wall ovens & separate cooktop.  The traditional range fits in most kitchens & costs less.  Separate cooktops & wall ovens cost more than a range, but they offer some flexibility.  Wall ovens come in single & double ovens (I want double oven).  Wall ovens are usually electric (a few are gas, but much smaller & only single oven), which is unfortunate, but I prefer to have a wall oven if space allows it in my future kitchen.  Cooking separate food in both ovens at different tempuratures is an advantage that you have with a wall oven.  Some ranges offer the option to bake in separate ovens if it's a double oven, but you might not necessarily be able to bake a different tempuratures.  Cooktops come indifferent sizes too, but at least you have the option of going with gas, or electric.  I haven't decided if the model I want for a cooktop will offer a grill or leave that option out.  The microwave will also act as an overhead exhaust fan, & be a convection microwave.  But if my floor plan allows for a gas cooktop &  double wall oven, then I'll go that route, with the wall oven being a convection oven.  As I said, all appliances will bt Whirlpool.  If this would have happened in the early 90's, I would have gone with GE since they were reliable back then.  Unfortunately out of all manufacturers, GE's reliability is the worst.

Now onto countertops, I'm thinking about going with granite, but don't know what color I would get.  I don't know how much the color of the countertop matters when it comes to matching it up with the color of the appliances.  The appliances will have a stainless steel finish.  The main sink will be a double bowl stainless steel sink that goes under the countertop.  I'll have a garbage disposer on that sink.  There will also be a single sink that will be used just for rinsing off fruits & vegetables.

The tiles for the backsplash will also go with the countertop, unless that's supposed to be a different color.  If there's room for an island, I want to have an island in the kitchen, and if possible, allow seating on one or 2 sides of the island.  

As for the cabinets near the dining room, I want the kitchen to open up to the dining room, but the cabinet & countertop separating the 2 spaces.  I also would like to have seating up by the countertop between the dining room & kitchen.  The floor will either be hardwood or hard tiles.  I refuse to have linoleum in my future kitchen because it doesn't last when it comes to the abuse floors take. 

I have a basic idea of what kind of kitchen I want, but it doesn't mean I'll be able to follow my dream kitchen in its entirity.  That depends on the house I get, the floor layout, & costs.  

I normally wouldn't be thinking about this stuff, but for some reason, I sense that I'm gonna enter a new chapter in my life that might involve some of this.  I will say that I don't know shit when it actually comes to style.  I don't know the differnce between Contemporary, Modern, Traditional, Vintage, and any other style that's out there.  If there was a US version of the HGTV Canada show (now cancelled) called Design U (airs on Ion Life), I'd be guaranteed to get an "F" because I know nothing about style.  I don't really know how to blend in colors for the main color & texture.  Also, I wouldn't even know how to integrate fabrics into the colors on the wall.  So I would have to have an interior designer help me with that.  I never lived in a home with any real style.  Our family has always been poor that we were lucky to have a home and furniture to sleep on.  So style was never a priority.  That will probably change when I move out.  All I know is that this is just a dream, but could be reality.  My next blog will be on the bathroom.  I have a few ideas for that as well.

People who are in relationships with large age gaps

I saw this topic on another site about the daddy/son relationships.  Now don't try to turn this into a pedophile topic.  This is about young men of at least 18 years old who get involved with guys who are at 15 years older than himself, but could be as old as his own biological, step, or adopted dad.  While I'm primarily focussing on the gay male relationship of the daddy/son relationship, some of this could apply to the lesbian mama/daughter relationship, or the straight relationships of the mama/son or daddy/daughter relationships.

I always wanted to know what people think of these type of relationships.  Do some people think they're wrong?  Do some people do this for a sexual fetish?  How about the simple attraction to the maturity to older men?  How about maybe those young men who might not have had a relationship with his own dad, & seeking out someone who they think might resemble the ideal dad.  What makes people seek these type of relationships?  I can tell you that not one person will have the same answer to that one.  There might be similarities as to why young men & older men seek these relationships of some sort.  Does a daddy/son relationship even have to involve being lovers & sex partners?  I don't know the answer to that one.

You have some who seek the sexual side of this.  You also have the type where someone is drawn to another with a large age gap.  Maybe someone (whether it's the much younger guy, the older guy, or both) has had problems relating to people in their own age group.  Maybe a young man who had no relationship at all, or a poor relationship with his own dad might seek out a guy who could be old enough to be his own dad (or just look old enough) for a bonding relationship. 

What would actually make someone be drawn to someone much older or much younger than himself?  I would still like to know that one myself, as each answer will be different.  I can say that for those guys who might be considered a daddy (just because of age, but doesn't necessarily think of himself as one), some probably don't normally think of himself as one, because maybe he doesn't act like one.  He might still at heart be young.  Maybe the few that wouldn't normally pursue someone who could be old enough to be his son is because he might think the young guy might not be attracted to him, and would be surprised if he is.

I still don't know everything about these relationships, but I can tell you from my own experience.  Most of it has been for sex.  I have usually preferred to be involved with guys much older than myself because from years past, guys closer to my own age have usually avoided me & usually sought out guys much older than myself.  Most of those guys have been in their 40's & 50's.  At my age of 36, I'm slowly being considered a daddy myself, though I don't feel like I look like one, nor do I act like one.  Those older than myself have have actually been there for me more than those closer to my own age.  Many younger than myself have usually never liked me.  That's I'm usually hesitant to be involved with someone younger than myself, though I won't rule it out.  I also could say that I've sought father figure guys because I didn't have much of a relationship with my own dad.  The primary reason I didn't have much of a relationship with my own dad was because he was an over the road Truck Driver.  So he was gone during the week and some weekends as well.  I have encountered a guy who was hesitant I wasn't interested in him because of his age.  Despite that he's in his 50's, in my mind, he was still a handsone looking guy.  I can say though that as long as both guys are adult age, that it isn't necessarily wrong to be in these type of relationships.  You just have to know what you're looking for.

Will I pursue a long-term relationship with a daddy?  That's hard to say if I'll be involved in a daddy/son relationship.  I do believe that the next guy I'm with will be older than myself.  If he is of the daddy type, that I don't want to have him always expecting me to call him daddy.  That's just kinky.  I would just pursue him for the maturity and experience, and for love (not an easy word for me to use since I don't seem to feel it most of the time).  Now this is just me, but if he has children, then I would have to take a pass on pursuing him.  Why must you ask?  I first of all don't want any children of my own & don't want to be involved with someone who has any.  I don't want his own children to be look at me as their own dad.  Also, any children he has, I'm worried that either his own son or myself (maybe both of us) might make a move on each other.  That is something I don't want to risk.  Most gay men I've encountered who have children have had gay children.  I consider it worse if his son is closer to my own age, and if his own son shows interest in me.  So I don't want to be involved with a parent on a relationship level.  In a case like that, a gay parent should be involved with someone closer to his own age to prevent his own son from possibly showing interest in his dad's lover.  I'm not a person who would make a parent sacrifice his own adult children to be with me (like some guys might want).  If a guy that's considered a daddy in the form of maturity & is a parent, I'm the one who will sacrifice to make sure that the guy stays involved with his own children.  Children always come first for parents.  While I don't know what I'm exactly looking for in a potential mate, but a guy who is a parent is out of the question.  It's my problem if he is one, but I do know I'm not looking for guys who are parents.  I'll only pursue them for booty calls and just friendships (not lovers).  But I still won't rule out being in a daddy/son relationship if it happens, just as long as he isn't a parent.  

The internet helps those of us who like the large age difference to meet up with them.  I don't know all the websites out there, but I do know of daddyhunt being one of those sites that caters to daddy/son relationships & daddy/son booty calls.

That's all for now.  If there's anything I left out, please make a comment on it.  I don't fully understand this topic.

Note to Law Enforcement:  This blog has nothing to do with pedophilia.  I don't condone pedophilia.  I'm not into minors and that IS NOT WHAT THIS BLOG IS ABOUT!  It is about guys who are at least 18 years old who desire to be with guys much older than himself. 

A Problem with a user on Lifeout

I was recently on the Lifeout.com website and I came across this user named JPARADOX.  I was in the inb the Daddy/Son forum under the topic: Fuck or Pass.  JPARADOX would intentionally look for me and say pass.  I think he got irritated with me commenting Pass as well.  I know this is only fantasy since Lifeout is a gay male only sexually oriented social networking site.  It's setup similar to myspace.  Anyway, he has the nerve to think that I wanted him.  HELL NO I DON'T WANT HIM!  For one, I don't really care too much for getting involved with guys barely legal age.  Since JPARADOX lives in Texas, he has to worry about the sodomy laws.  While it can't be enforced in the privacy of a person's home, it's still illegal to be gay in public.  He wants to speak bad about me.  Fine!  Let him speak bad about me.  He's barely legal age and has no clue about the GLBT community.  He has a lot to learn, and has to worry about breaking the law for being gay in Texas.  Afterall, that's what the sodomy law is setup for.  It really means that it's illegal to be gay.  I just have to worry about being beat up for being gay.  I don't have to worry about being charged with sodomy as long as I don't go to: Michigan (though they haven't enforced their law on it yet), Idaho, Utah, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida (haven't heard of this state enforcing their law), North & South Carolina, & Virginia (biggest offender to the sodomy law as they refuse to acknowledge the federal law that forbids the state from prosecuting people for sodomy in their homes).  I should add another thing that JPARADOX looks hideous in my opinion.  I just wonder if he brags about his so called big dick.  That's another thing I tend to not like about people like him.  He fits the skinny twink category, though I don't think he's pretty or handsome (whatever term you want to use). I highly doubt he goes for daddies.  I know he doesn't go for bears and any stocky built guy that doesn't look like a pretty boy.  That's perfectly fine because he's far from my type.  I don't want young that borders on pedophilia (he's gonna be 19 & I'll be 37 this year and he's half my age).  He claims to be hispanic, but he very much looks like he's black.  Black people overall have nappy hair and that's what this guy has.  So if he is hispanic & black, then he's blaxican.  Puerto Rican guys are very much handsome.  I will add that he's gonna be dealt a cold reality of what the GLBT community is like when he really gets out into the community.  As far as I'm concerned, he can stay with the twink community.  He obviously wants to be a part of that group, but he'll lose his looks early on, while I won't lose my looks as easily.  I maybe out of shape (won't lie about it), but I was never a pretty boy, but an average looking guy and the bear community usually bonds together on a long-term bases more than the twink community does.  Unless a twink can hold onto his looks for a long time, they tend to get frowned on once he gets up there in age and isn't as good looking.  Unless a bear goes for a has been twink, the has been twink will really be left out in the cold.  Lastly, JPARADOX is a Gemini while I'm a Scorpio.  I have found out of all signs that Geminis are the worst people to have sex with.  They are the least capable of concentrating on having sex with 1 person.  Scorpio can very well concentrate on having sex with 1 person & Scorpios like passion.  Leo & Taurus are the other 2 signs that like passion.  Geminis have no passion and want a lot of intellect.  At least most Libras (the only air sign that seems capable to handling passionate sex) can handle it.  .

So JPARADOX on Lifeout; don't let the GLBT hit you hard when you really learn what our community thinks of people like you.

Last week in general

Last week I called up Elwood Staffing to see if they had any work available.  While the job that popped up was  for a company that will need people soon, it wasn't actually a job available at this time.  Elwood needs to get some people ready for a distributor of homegoods products.  I won't mention the name of the company, but it's located in Portage Indiana and is a local company, with corporate office in Lynwood Illinois.  The pay won't be as good since it's for only $8.00 a hour, but there's a possibility of overtime with this job.  My last job was $8.50 a hour and was forced into a pay freeze last year, and learned if I were still at Ashland, that I would have gone a 2nd year without a pay increase.  I would either work in the shipping/receiving area, or work as an order picker/packer.  At least this job is near I-94 and will deal with few traffic lights.  I believe if I get this job, that it won't be permanent.  I believe something else will come my way that will be better than this job.  It's a wait & see.  Even though I don't have this job yet, Elwood has me on a waiting list, and I'm to keep calling back every week.  Anytime Elwood gets a call from this distribution center for a certain number of people, the people who called in earlier in the week that get called will have first shot at the place.  I made sure I gave them my cellphone number & carry it with me at all times.  I will still get around to getting an application in with Labor Ready in Griffith.  I wouldn't mind getting a little work with them.  Main reason is that they pay workers daily & I would make a little money so I would have gas money, in case Elwood calls me for the distribution job.  Maybe if Labor Ready has a job that lasts a while, then I'll have to make a few trips to the bank to deposit cash, since Labor Ready does payroll the minute you turn in your timecard, gives you your payroll notice, then go to their ATM to enter in a code# on the notice to get your money.  With Elwood, they're like most other employment agencies with doing payroll weekly, and they're following many of them on how they pay.  Most agencies no longer issue checks.  If you want your money in your account, then you have to have direct deposit.  Otherwise, you get either a Visa or Mastercard debit card. 

Then on Wednesday & the rest of the week, I did a lot of resting, playing pchgames.com, & taking walks to try & lose enough weight to get back into my big ass pants.  I need to lose a bit of weight since I put on weight after being out of work for nearly 8 months now.  It's been difficult to stay optimistic, but I'm trying to not be negative about this.  I'll eventually get back to work somehow.  If certain dreams I've been having lately are what my future is holding, then this job is just a small bridge to what will be happening sometime this summer.  I'll believe it when I see it.  For now, I just want to be back to work.  I forgot to mention that the distribution job will either be a 1st or 2nd shift job.  First shift would be 7am - 3:30pm & I believe second shift will be 3:30pm - 12am.  It's a wait & see for that, but I was told that I would most likely be on first shift..

I've also watched a lot of TV as well, including watching on PBS (WTTW & WTTW Prime) a show called POV (Point Of View).  POV was airing the movie documentary called Food, Inc.  The TV version showed some of the stuff big name food companies don't want people to know about the food we eat.  What I saw all showed me reasons as to why we're having a lot of contaminated food.  Animals grazed the old fashioned way are a lot healthier than the manufactured shit we get from the so-called experts who run these big corporations.  I have yet to watch all of it, but I did watch what was aired on WTTW & WTTW Prime.  The extra content is available on the PBS.org website & it's also available on DVD & Blu-Ray that didn't air on TV.  Once I'm back to work, I intend to buy Food, Inc. on DVD.  I also want to get the DVD called, The End of Suburbia As We Know It (have to look up actual title).  When I didn't watch TV, I was watching my Family Guy DVD's.  I plan to get Family Guy Volume 8 once I'm back to work and released (tentative release June 15th, 2010).  While I don't watch cable or satellite, I've done alright watching over the air TV, which is making a comeback, because people are complaining that the cost of cable & satellite going up too much, and little can be done to control the costs.  So I'm like many people who are now using a broadband connection to watch select episodes of shows online.  So I can watch what I will actually watch.  I probably won't go back to satellite anytime soon, and Comcast for cable service is shitty in my neighborhood, since it goes out a lot, & when it works, digital cable is as bad as satellite.  Internet thru the cable is slow too when it works, but tends to be out more than on.  I just need to get a couple of new antennas and especially need a separate UHF only antenna pointed toward Cedar Lake for WYIN to get a steady signal of that station.  All other Chicago area stations are on the Sears Tower & John Hancock & I have 1 antenna pointed toward Chicago for those stations. 

I'll keep you all updated on my job search.